Because I can't really talk about New Wet Kojak without referencing Girls Against Boys, and because it seems like nobody can talk about Girls Against Boys without referencing sex, we're gonna talk about sex appeal, and how it is that Scott McCloud and Johnny Temple-- in both their flagship band and their side project-- came to sound like Henry Miller's edits when discussing their music. "Man, do you hear that libidinous croon? Don't you dig that sexy, swaggering, 'come-hither-and-fuck-me' bassline?"
I'm not entirely comfortable with talking about libidinous crooning, if only because I've always associated it with permed, hairy-chested geezers and some combination of pity and repulsion. Which could mean that New Wet Kojak vocalist Scott McCloud is a shoe-in for Ladies Nite at the Starlite Lounge in twenty years or so. That aside, though, McCloud's vocal stylings work well-- perhaps even better than in the GVSB setting-- with the jazzy, ambient, cooler-than-thou character of New Wet Kojak. In fact, when he talks about rock stars, big tippers, Sophia Loren, and living the low life on No. 4, it makes it easier for the listener to believe he knows whereof he speaks.
Of course, this is all tongue-in-cheek. Mostly. The opening track, "Livin' 2 Low," opens with a spacy ambient loop and a smooth rhythm section somewhat reminiscent of latter day U2. And right when you're about to start slithering about the dance floor, McCloud imparts these sexy thoughts: "The world thirsts for a car/ Deodorant/ The life as advertised." I've long believed Girls Against Boys smirked at press that perceived their sexy-with-an-edge shtick as anything more than an affectation. Likewise, New Wet Kojak takes the affectation so far overboard that it's hard not to believe McCloud and Temple aren't satirizing themselves. "Livin' 2 Low," with its Prince-style syntax title, seems paean to the steamy Saturday-night-out and winks at the audience. And to clarify: it's not a "hey baby" sort of wink.
"Do the Math" is an infectious, new wave/disco hybrid romp that, as a stand-alone track, nearly justifies the release of the entire single. It's fairly simple, forgoing the ambient gloss of the other tracks for playful bass, Charles Bennington's terrific saxophones (which make a serious case for the widespread reintegration of the sax into the indie dance-pop idiom), and sly lyrics like, "Real chicks prefer rock stars/ Do the math." "Sophia Loren," meanwhile, opens with the sound of horns and delicate guitar work, building into a crashing, sneering ruckus (unsurprisingly evocative of pre-Freakonica Girls Against Boys) featuring a strangely metal-guitar flavored sax solo.
Unfortunately the energy of the first three tracks falls away on "Year of the Sheep." An unnecessarily dirge-like beat-poetry-jam rides over one of the most repetitive piano lines I've ever heard, making this a clear candidate for some throwaway compilation contribution (or, if nothing else, the garbage can). Ditto the remix of "Love Career." The original version, one of the high points on Do Things, was hardly begging for a remix as it was. And the No. 4 version, integrating naptime strings samples and uninspired drum loops, is simply boring.
So this is a tough call rating-wise. Sixty percent of this CD is dead on-- a solid follow up to 2000's Do Things, and indicator of good things to come. But the last two tracks sully the picture a bit. I'll grant that everyone, even libidinous crooners, have bad days, and some of those bad days are sort of interesting. The second half of this EP, however, is boring. And there's nothing less sexy than that.
