Superceding Doja Cat’s “Say So”, and Olivia Rodrigo’s debut single “Driver’s License”, to name a few, Young’s “Messy” found itself soundtracking a plethora of lip-sync videos, established by Kylie Jenner. Unlike other tracks adopted by influencers, “Messy” found its success almost immediately, being picked up the same year it was released – unlike Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” (2020), which didn’t gain the traction and recognition it deserved until almost half a decade later.
Not just a break-out track, “Messy” also served itself up at the first tease for Young’s debut record – This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway. Markedly her most mature release to date, tackling narratives such as self-worth (“Messy”), toxic relationships (“Wish You Were Dead”) and mental health struggles (“Intrusive Thoughts”) – yet, This Wasn’t Meant For You Anyway, offered only a glimpse of what was waiting in the thrilling instrumentation, and infectious choruses of I’m Only F**king Myself.
Where the precursor focussed more on relaying narratives of the people around her, I’m Only Fking Myself, as the title suggests, turns inwards, with libations steeped in raw introspection and refreshing honesty. The album opens with sentiments of gratitude: a spoken word interlude expresses gratefulness for the simple, mundane aspects of existence – cows, green grass, and the good health of friends and family. What begins sweet and innocent (“how long will it take to walk a mile [interlude]), however, is swiftly relinquished. With I’m Only Fking Myself she’s taking control, assuming command over her own life and relationships - and completely unapologetically – “F__K EVERYONE” and “ur an absolute c word [interlude]” exemplify this faultlessly.
Young is also demonstrating lucidity in what she wants and
expects from romantic interactions. With “One Thing” she unashamedly
admits she doesn’t necessarily yearn to be taken for dinner first (“Everybody wants to know ya / But me, I only want one thing”) – in perhaps her most overtly sexual cut to date (“And you're breakin' my back, you're so, so strong…Break your bed and then the sofa”). Contrasting this is “Post Sex
Clarity”, where Young reflects on not wanting just a one-night stand
(“please don’t ever let me let you go”) backed by delicate guitar strums
that dominate the softer ballad.
Harking back to themes of addiction and self-sabotage found
veined throughout her previous releases (“Six Feet Under” and
“Annabel’s House”), “d3aler” and “Not Like That Anymore” sit as pairs
thematically, but contrast in their sound. Where “d3aler” details the
need to escape (“I wanna get away, far from here / Pack my bags, my
drugs, and disappear”) and is sonically reminiscent of Amy Winehouse,
the latter is more upbeat and euphoric in nature, and looks at recovery.
Here, she’s not hindering herself with narcotics anymore (“I've been
tryna quit the snowflake”), or toxic relationships (“I got a little kick
out of declining your call), but instead struggling with financial
barriers (“I'm locked out, got nowhere to go / And my phone got stolen
and my balance is low”) . But she’s looking at the bridge side – at
least she’s “fucking [herself], but not like that anymore”.
With her second studio record, Lola Young has created a
tapestry of conflicting narratives delicately intertwined. From urging
for one-night stands, before quickly U-turning, and then wanting to
forget the world, I’m Only F**king Myself is a rich, expansive offering – and she’s not letting anyone sabotage that for her.
