It's usually unfair to evaluate a rapper based on image alone, but that's exactly what New York MC Theophilus London wants. Not since Gene has an artist sought so blatantly to turn Morrissey idol worship into instant credibility: Now signed to a major, his introduction was called This Charming Mixtape despite its This Year's American Apparel Model cover art, and these days you can catch him rocking a Smith College hat, which-- double word score-- happens to be an all-female institution of higher learning. Fine-- maybe he's not trying to be some sort of inside operative attempting to subvert hip-hop's typical ideas of masculinity, intellect, and proper sonic influence. But from Lovers Holiday, it's plain to see why his forthright opinions are more often found in men's fashion mags than hip-hop rags: he's either unwilling or incapable of letting his music do any of the actual legwork.
That said, its easy to see what the draw is with London: By cutting straight rhyming with large quantities of R&B's 80s futurism and teen-friendly pop, he represents the contemporary ideal for a modern MC. And unlike, say, B.o.B. or Kid Cudi, you never get the idea A&Rs had to massage a rhyme spitter past into a Billboard-aspiring present. That's pretty much been the plan from Day One for London, so there will be no protests of compromise. Problem is, the smug entitlement, unctuous self-satisfaction, and cornball loverman raps reveal its bloodline to the drunk uncle of current radio rap: Common's Electric Circus.
But that was a whole lot of momentarily misguided ambition, whereas Lovers Holiday has London with his grip on the controls, putting together a concept EP of sorts that attempts to capture the angles of humankind's most complex emotion but mostly just reminds me of places where I pay too much for work slacks. The coked-out couture-pop of "Why Even Try?" is typical of the hollowed chill preferred by London, and whatever novelty could be gleaned from having Sara Quin (of Tegan and...) as a guest is spoiled by giving her the role and vocal processing of any given R&B gun for hire. If you ever needed a primer on what made "Yamaha" a display of The-Dream's mastery, go check out the rental version of "Little Red Corvette" offered by "Strange Love". The idea of whether this is "real hip-hop" is moot; it simply falters as pop.
But the gaping void at the center is London himself-- for all the Moz namedropping, he's retained none of his poetry, none of his vocal presence, and certainly none of his wit. His singing voice is serviceable enough, but he has pretty much one flow as a rapper, a halting cadence that has him wheezing for breath at the end of every half bar and gives you plenty of time to register what you've just heard. Most often, his lack of vocal engagement makes outright clunkers scarce, but there are plenty of fortune cookie jewels ("You look ahead and I know you see the stop signs/ A blind man know it's not green all the time") and squeamish come-ons ("Girl I ain't goin' nowhere sit here and cops and robbers down by the moonlight") that are impossible to miss. References to camera phones and real-time Facebook updates act as signifiers of "love in the modern time" on "Wine & Chocolates", yet 2011 still finds a place for harlequin romance details and the fumbled eroticism of a thousand college poetry classes. Competition is fierce, but "We can wear matching shoes like 'Thriller'/ And watch Godzilla" ultimately won out for the biggest facepalm. This all comes immediately after the hook on prior track "Girls Girls $" becomes the most frequently heard line of Lovers Holiday-- "She got drunk/ Showed her pussy on WorldStar."
Recently, London was profiled in a feature called "Rebel Style", but tellingly it was in GQ as opposed to any publication related to music. The piece touted him as not "just a rapper," but a "Morrissey-obsessed songwriter, who at age 22, has already become a style icon." We can have sartorial arguments until the stars burn out, but truth is, it's tough to tell exactly what the music is rebelling against here, either sonically, lyrically, visually, thematically, or otherwise, unless you've ignored My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, Drake, Lil' B, Odd Future, Das Racist, Lil' Wayne, Blueprint 3, "Day N Nite"-- in other words, the last three years of cutting-edge pop music. To quote a better lyricist than him, you just haven't earned it, son.
