Emo? Screamo? Don't listen to them-- the shit is metal. What's worse, it's metal that denies you that payoff that comes with a corny, bloody-fingered guitar solo you can direct your frustration and derisive laughter at. In fact, there's not much to laugh about here at all. Unless boring, trebly, palm-muted guitar riffs and really, really bad emo screaming are particularly funny to you.
The obligatory: Anasarca was a D.C.-area five piece that recorded very little in their three-year existence, yet somehow managed to earn themselves a substantial fanbase and subsequent "influential" status. And influential they are. The music on this seven-song retrospective will definitely influence me to drop their CD into the garbage incinerator chute on my next trip to the elevator.
In discussing why it is I despise Anasarca, there are two main issues that merit attention: the music and the singing. To their credit, guitarists Chris Afzal and Carl Riddle-- and even the rhythm section of bassist Jim Sajor and drummer Mike Weltz-- churn out standard, sometimes even kinda pretty metal-core background music. The kind that could get you hopping around and pumping your fist if you were into baseball caps, no-girls-allowed-type shows in small, sweaty venues, and being an angry, WASPy teen. Not to their credit, on the other hand, is Nick Pimentel's hellishly silly voice, which lets the steam out of the other four guys' boring but at least thought-out musical arrangements.
Remember Cobra Commander from the "G.I. Joe" cartoons? (Hint: he was the one with no face, screeching like his voicebox was on fire.) You might have assumed that all this time he was living off the residuals from his glory days. Or maybe you thought he'd fallen through the social service cracks and resorted to squeegeeing motorists' windshields for spare change at a random inner-city intersection. Anything is possible, but we know for sure what he was doing from 1994-1997: he was Nick Pimentel, frontman for Anasarca. Granted, his abrasive "I-don't-do-notes"-style singing has, since 1997, become an established vocal genre of its own. But I personally see no reason to explore the roots of this fine tradition.
To the songs, then. "East Bunk Hill" and "Eugene Debs" are the first and second tracks, but are so similar that we'll just speak of them as one: Stop-start-stop. "Aaaaiiighhhhyyyyeeeee!!!" Stop-start-stop. "Grgrgrgreeeeeeee!!!" The guitars drop out, then the bass plays some non-committal but vaguely ominous part for a few bars. "Aaaahhhhhhkkkkghhh!!!"
Things get appreciably better on track three, "Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt," though maybe "A Couple Things Weren't Awful but the Vocals Still Hurt" would have been a more honest song title. This song, as distinct from its two predecessors, actually makes use of melody! It even sports a clever, building intro, lively drumming, and a two-vocal part.
Track four, "Stationary People," also flirts with singability in a fairly pleasant manner. You almost wonder if there's more to Anasarca than their half-hour discography suggests. Which isn't to say the track is great. It sounds sort of like the demon from The Exorcist covering an Offspring song, but whatever. Shit looks tall when you're in a crater this deep.
"Enginize" starts off positively wussy. Was Anasarca having a rough day? We don't know. But in any case, the song's intro is the prettiest moment in the band's whole history. Of course, you can guess what comes next: "Aaaaiiighhhhyyyyeeeee!!!" Good, you've been paying attention. Of the seven songs, this track earns silver honors.
"You Know" and "So Tell Me" finish things out in monotonously rockin' fashion, the former showing flashes of guitar-player consciousness; the latter earning the first place with its rare dynamism and the successful two-voice arrangement. And then... sweet silence. If you're a fan of this genre, save yourself the trouble of e-mailing me your thoughts, add another bunch of points to the rating, and enjoy. If you're not, just remember Cobra Commando. Knowing, my friends, is half the battle.
