Because some halfwits at Epic Records think there is an actual market for a cheap 19-song compilation culled from three albums by that "Nearly Lost You" band. Because it would make more sense, given the particular niche this release is aiming for, to simply do right by the group and just release a set collecting all the songs in Screaming Trees' Epic catalog. Because throwing actual fannies the "FEATURING 2 RARE TRACKS" bone is a lame move. Because the cover art collage fronting this effort is as ugly as the original album art being collaged. Because people that actually give a rat's ass know they can buy the three albums covered on this disc off eBay-- promo gouge or no promo gouge-- for less than what it would cost to buy this compilation. Because, if you're a fair-weather fan looking for "Nearly Lost You", it would be stupid to pay $11 just to have it in your collection. Because you're sick of CDs being filled with crap just because a CD can hold 80 minutes of music. Because clearly Mark Lanegan's success as a solo artist and part-time Queens of the Stone Age vocalist means the time is right to re-evaluate a group that was for grunge, if this compilation is any sort of barometer, what Drowning Pool was for nu-metal, or what Spent was for indie rock (and your sarcasm detector is broken).
Because you don't want to hear a young Lanegan pass a kidney stone while fronting an above-average bar band. Because the compilers frontloaded this disc with the most derivative crap of the lot, so when one finally gets to the decent songs (mostly from Sweet Oblivion or Dust), you'll be hard pressed to care. Because the best song is still "Nearly Lost You", and being stuck in the middle of this morass does it no favors-- it sounds just as mundane and turgid and wanky as what preceded and what follows. Because it will take more than a few listens to discern anything of interest from the stand-out tracks, like the mellotron-laden "Traveler" or "E.S.K", a track that actually sounds like the mixture of psychedelic garage pop and grunge rock that would-be street-teamers claim is the hallmark of Screaming Trees' best work. Because a sloppy, blues-as-a-bad-thing track like "Paperback Bible" quickly disposes of any good will the good stuff engenders. Because the track this compilation is named after is exemplary of the dubious nature of this enterprise.
Because the 13th Floor Elevators have an electric jug and Roky Erikson. Because Credence Clearwater Revival was a great band. Because Rick Parashar owes you money. Because you already got your 90s nostalgia fix sated by buying new copies of Superunknown and Dirt. Because you can't forgive Cameron Crowe for Vanilla Sky. Because a retrospective-- even if it only covers one era of the band-- should paint the group in a flattering light, and not just throw paint all over the damn place. Because you don't want to support a system that rewards folks for just hanging around and doing stuff, unless you're really looking forward to the next James Bond flick or a new episode of "The Simpsons" or the "Just Shoot Me" Season 2 DVD. Because, sometimes, bands are better left forgotten.
