At the college radio station where I work, there are a few types who show up at every open house. There's the kid who wants to do an all-Phish show, but who, in the interest of keeping things fresh, would consider mixing in some Moe. He's often followed by the alarmingly socially inept kids who pitch "a 'Loveline'-type show", overlooking the fact that even radio divas like myself are lucky to get five calls on a 10-watt station. There's the white rapper who cries when he doesn't make the cut (actually, this is the same guy every semester). And always, always, there are freshman girls who want to do an 80s show. There are reasons these girls, enthusiastic as they most certainly are, do not get radio shows. Not least amongst these reasons is that the local adult contemporary station does a more than adequate job of covering this era. At least, that's what we tell them. The real reason is that no one wants to be subjected to Men Without Hats again.
It's difficult to write a meaningful synth-pop song-- I've never done it (and god knows I've tried), but also, it's just that rare to hear one. The genre lends itself to disposability. But while Herculean, it's certainly not an impossible task, and Stephin Merritt, who contributes lyrics and vocals to the Future Bible Heroes, has probably written a good percentage of the 90s' most compelling ones. On the Magnetic Fields' excellent 1993 album, Holiday, Merritt primarily depended on synth to back his eternally deadpan vocals. Even the record's mid-fi production values couldn't blunt the impact of his songwriting.
But Future Bible Heroes frontman Chris Ewen just isn't a Merritt-caliber composer, and this EP suffers in contrast to even Merritt's b-sides. In 1997, when the Future Bible Heroes' debut album was released, it was a treat. Those were less prolific days for Merritt, and any output was anxiously anticipated. Now, however, with Magnetic Fields fans still discovering new favorites among last year's epic 69 Love Songs, this EP is disappointing. Having explored Merritt's many musical fascinations-- 69 Love Songs found him taking on John Cage, the war ballad, and Celtic music, amongst other genres rarely explored by pop artists-- it's difficult to return to the Future Bible Heroes' limited musical worldview.
The title track, a manic ode to break-ups, features Merritt's best lyrical effort here, offering gems like, "I'm lonely as Mount Everest and probably as high/ It's time to buy the records you would never let me buy." "My Blue Hawaii" is one of Ewen's more compelling compositions, a near-hysterical combination of drum machines, whirs, clicks and sirens. Merritt, unfortunately, is at his laziest on the song, listing every tropical association that occurs to him.
Elsewhere, "Caf Hong Kong" is too reminiscent of my least favorite Magnetic Fields song ever ("Tokyo A Go-Go") for me to find any enjoyment in it, and here, as well as on "Good Thing I Don't Have Any Feelings", the band strays far too close to Human League territory. And it doesn't bode well for I'm Lonely that its strongest track is a remix of "Hopeless", a song that saw release on the Future Bible Heroes' 1997 full-length, Memories of Love. Still, the song's combination of morbid lyrics and bleepy, danceable pop proves that Merritt and Ewen do have their inspired collaborative moments.
Chris Ewen writes some fun, fairly interesting electro-pop, but it's his ties to Stephin Merritt that makes this a salable record. The Magnetic Fields association guarantees an audience for the Future Bible Heroes, and a place for them on college radio. Much like the spongecake recipe in I'm Lonely's liner notes, Ewen's music is sugary and weightless; Merritt adds the "favorite filling" which makes it unique. In the end, though, the EP just isn't substantial enough to join the exclusive ranks of memorable synth-pop records.
