Chicago Public Television runs a children's program on Summer afternoons called "The Homework Show." Rather questionable marketing decisions lurk behind that. Should we slip 'n' slide or witness a desperate DePaul drama grad carry the zero? "The Homework Show" is like showing Die Hard 2 on a flight to Dulles. It's like a rib joint in the West Bank. It's like Arab on Radar in your ears.
While they've successfully nudged the guitar a few steps closer to dentistry tools, Arab on Radar pound on the same bathroom-stall joke for 19 minutes on Soak the Saddle. The opening track chugs away like a Brainiac knock-off in a combine, only it's recorded with microphones made of a tin cans and yarn. The result is neither menacing or powerful. Crusty drums jackhammer. Guitars whistle like tea is ready. It's shrill and calculated.
Though it may be considered punk in some circles to aggravate the listener, it's pretty unpunk to charge people money for it. This relentless grind and screech could suffice as passable garage scrape-core if coupled with an intelligent, provoking singer. Sadly, the enigmatic Arab on Radar seemingly employs a congested Jon Lovitz reading the men's room graffiti in Bard's student union.
"Nice girls don't soak the saddle/ Judy Garland doesn't use tampons," the knob whines. "Hard-ons for home runs/ Hard-ons are unamerican." Each slogan is spat with such uninspired contempt that the tone is difficult to discern. Is "the quality of bedwetting is conflict" humor? Is "his nuts inflate like a blowfish" a mockery of modern Maxim masculinity? Probably not when backed with a line like, "Have you ever seen a teenager with a package quite like that?" Potty humor it is, then. Let's not discuss the homosexual shower rape song.
To make it "art," Arab on Radar title their songs "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9." And in further attempts to be difficult, the tracks are sequenced in a different order! Brilliant! Bands like the Jesus Lizard and U.S. Maple have already done this with sincerity. Orifice obsession and trashy noise may get you big in Rhode Island, but those unrelated to the band will be unimpressed at best. Perhaps parents can get their tots in front of the set for "The Homework Show" by threatening them with Soak the Saddle on repeat.
