The indie rock hype machine should be forgiven for lumping idiotically named Dogs Die in Hot Cars with the new wave revival. The truth is, Craig Macintosh's jittery vocals do work overtime to invoke XTC's Andy Partridge, the pop hooks are sugary enough for Orange Juice, and Clive Langer and Alan Winstanley's production is as florescent as their work for Dexys Midnight Runners or Madness.
But even if it comes cloaked in the trendy trappings of 2004's VH1 Classic/1980s obsession, Please Describe Yourself is really an exercise in 90s nostalgia. As star-crazy as Joan Rivers and as lackadaisical as Phil Daniels' "Parklife" narration, Dogs Die in Hot Cars' full-length debut has more in common with contemporary Britpop revivalists like Athlete or Ordinary Boys than 80s fetishists like Hot Hot Heat, stellastarr* or The Fever.
The telling moment is "Lounger", which nearly quotes the aforementioned Blur tune ("I get up when I like") amid squeaky-clean guitars and Jarvis Cocker-like wit (so what if the melody recalls New Order's "Temptation"). A snippet of awkward German even harks back to "Parklife"'s "Vorsprung durch Technik." In that light, opener (and second single) "Godhopping" sounds less like Men at Work and more like Menswe@r-- its "all the way to Bombay" lyric is thematically, if not geographically, reminiscent of Athlete's chipper "El Salvador".
"Celebrity Sanctum"-- on which Catherine Zeta-Jones, Angelina Jolie, and Lucy Liu all make silly/cute lyrical cameos-- shows the charming naivete of a band stuck in an era before reality TV muddied stardom's waters. That song also includes the decidedly unsurprising revelation that these guys really "just want someone that will come home." Presumably, she'll like Craig for Craig, not because he hangs with Leonardo. Standout track "Paul Newman's Eyes" continues our US Weekly celebfest. Its chorus ("I wish I had Paul Newman's eyes") grows less funny with each listen, but recovers on the strength of enormous hooks that should have you listening well after the joke has worn thin.
Elsewhere, first single "I Love You 'Cause I Have To" bobs and skanks like umpteenth-wave ska. That's right: S-K-A. Sure, they had that in the 80s, too, but if Reel Big Fish were to mount a mainstream comeback, this song would be their ticket to MTV2; cut the buoyant horns from their "Take on Me" cover, and you're halfway there. Even "Come on Eileen" saw a slight return in the 90s, thanks to (guess who!) Save Ferris. Goddamn right, Dogs Die in Hot Cars are living in the past-- the all-too-recent past.
Finally, I hate mentioning the self-important racket of Franz Ferdinand, but you should know that Dogs Die in Hot Cars are sort of the wimpy younger siblings of their fellow Glaswegians-- the asexual catwalk of "Pastimes & Lifestyles" could dream of one day growing up to be "Matinee". Whoever labeled Franz Ferdinand "Scotpop" for their post-Britpop proclivities was probably just talking out of his ass, but it's much better suited to Macintosh & Co. than the abused-beyond-meaning appellative "new wave."
