I have complained about The Prom in the past. My senior one, to be specific. Said prom was planned by a girl I will call 'Dance Team' (because she was on the dance team). Irony of all ironies, Dance Team would soon merit the alias 'Lazybones'. Due to her sluggish planning regimen, when she finally got around to booking a venue, all local hotels had been reserved for potential prom weekends. What that meant was Sunday night prom in the auxiliary gym, three weeks before graduation. Not exactly a night to remember.
Sunday prom in the 'aux gym' raised a massive ruckus with two distinct groups. First, there were the Mormons, whose parents would have allowed them to attend a Sunday event, but only on the express condition that they refrain from 'having fun' (fun is verboten on Mormon Sundays). Then there was me and my not-yet-gay but very effeminate best friend, who were pre-committed to compete in Quiz Bowl nationals. Out of a sense of injustice and a disdain for Dance Team/Lazybones, we joined forces with the Mormons and complained our asses off. But to no fricking avail. Prom happened, it sucked, and we went out a week later with 12 of our closest Mormon friends and a party van.
Eight years later and I'm back at it, complaining about the Prom, but this time without Mormon assistance. The Prom of which I speak today is an indie pop group from Seattle, Washington. Like Mormon Sundays, this Prom lacks the fun quotient. Melancholy pervades what ought to be the good-time formula of piano, drums, and bass. It sounds like Ben Folds Five, minus the virtuoso piano and bass ability, and substituting Elliott Smith for Folds on vocals (albeit with a bit less talent in the melody department, and a bit more talent in the lyrics department).
"Guarantees Aren't Easy" features a tense, punchy and dramatic bassline, playing off an insistent piano arpeggio, to distinguish itself as the most affecting and profound song on the album. "Ink on the Paper" is another of the more dynamic tunes on the album, employing strings and flute to throw a nice closing hook in your face. Beyond that, however, The Prom offers a bunch of glimmers and sparkles, but can't seem to put a complete song together. With the instrumentation fairly basic and the orchestration consistent, the onus is placed on the dynamics of the songs and the quality of melodies. The Prom occasionally capitalizes on a solid sense of song dynamics (as on the aforementioned "Guarantees" and "Ink on the Paper). Unfortunately, they can't boast the same about melody.
The Prom's lack of facility with the catchy vocal hook, or even a catchy piano hook (piano is truly fertile ground for them) is painfully evident, and ultimately weighs down their debut. It's most obvious on the more naked slow tunes, like "A Note on the Kitchen Table" and "Brighter than the Moon", each of which feels laggard and bloated. Moreover, the lack of melody further continues the fun drought. Add sad lyrics and you're in sad shape all around. Melancholy minus hooks equals drab to the boringth power. Like I said, not exactly a night to remember.
