AT RISE: Hapless Reviewer (female, about age twenty-six) sits at desk, drinking ill-advised coffee on mostly empty stomach, and quickly filling an ashtray. She stares helplessly at a computer screen and contemplates a pastel-hued CD cover. The sound of sentimental folk-pop plays softly in the background.
HAPLESS REVIEWER (sighs, lights cigarette): Should a band be derided if their music appears in an episode of a heavily scorned teen drama on the WB?
HER CONSCIENCE (enters from stage left, takes a seat in the broken yellow chair in the corner): This again?
HER CONSCIENCE: No, they shouldn't. Otherwise decent bands have appeared on teen dramas before. Remember when the Flaming Lips played on "90210?"
HAPLESS REVIEWER: But what if appearing on a WB soundtrack is the band's single greatest-- though dubious-- claim to fame?
HER CONSCIENCE: Still, that's pretty harsh. (Lights cigarette.) Incidentally, how do you know that?
HAPLESS REVIEWER: I dunno. A little contrived. Hard to believe they really sound like that naturally-- the girl, in particular. I could see how it might be a guilty pleasure, and I'm guessing the fanbase is predominately female. But personally, I think it's kind of boring, and a little too self-consciously precious for its own good.
HAPLESS REVIEWER: Well, you can hear it for yourself. This is the first song, "Go Ahead." It has that airy, finger-picked folk thing going on. Pretty, I guess, but the most typical chord progression in the world. And the girl-- Jenny Lewis-- sings in that breathy, pouty little girl way favored by far too many female singer/songwriters these days. I hate that. She adds backing harmonies to give herself a little more substance, but it's hard to take someone seriously when they sing, "If you wanna have your cake and eat it, too/ And if you want to have other people watch while you eat it/ Go ahead." It's not quite campy enough to be twee. Like, it's a tad more upbeat than Ida, but less interesting musically.
HAPLESS REVIEWER: Not really, no. And I feel sort of bad pointing this out. Rilo Kiley is kind of a new band and all, but this sounds really amateurish. "Pictures of Success" could be a prom band doing Ida, with all the problems that implies. You know, the questionable sound quality, slightly out-of-tune instrumentation (including a completely irrelevant trumpet line at the end), over-articulated vocals, and an unnatural gentleness that makes you feel a little bit embarrassed. (Pause) Jenny Lewis' vocals really drive me crazy.
HAPLESS REVIEWER: Yeah, that's Blake Sennett. He sounds a lot like Elliott Smith, but not as good. Still, it's an improvement over the girl. Otherwise, this song is fairly dismissable. You know how some bands can take the whole 60s lite-pop sound and subvert it to amusing and/or ironic effect? Not these kids. It's like Muzak! The Beatles-esque business on "Small Figures in a Vast Expanse" isn't so bad, I guess-- I think the guitars sound better there than they usually do. And I actually find that I don't mind Jenny Lewis' vocals so much when they're overdubbed as backing vocals.
HAPLESS REVIEWER: No. It just sounds the same. Except track ten, "Always." It's not a bad song. I like the new wave intro. I like how over-the-top pop it is, and that it's comparatively loud. Reminds me of Velocity Girl, back in the day. And I'm inclined to believe this is the direction Rilo Kiley should take. But still.
HER CONSCIENCE: You're going to make fun of them, aren't you? For that "Dawson's Creek" business... HAPLESS REVIEWER: It's such a temptation. It's not worth it, though. I can't get a good dig in at Rilo Kiley because they're not bad enough to warrant my ire. I'm not offended, just bored. The worst thing I could say is that this is forgettable and any humor I may find in their connection to "Dawson's Creek" will do little more than remind me of who they are.
